Hallway Etiquette 101:Wolframs guide to New Mazoku
by black-n-white-stockings
Summary: educational fun as Wolfram explains the finer points of 'how to' in hallways. R&R please! POV wolf, mild Yuuram pairings.


Yay! This is my first ever _posted _fanfic. I'm so excited. Please feel free to read but please review! (Even if it's to tell me to stop writing. Well maybe not so mean please…)

A/N: Yeah, I wrote this babysitting last week. I got the idea from something I saw at Otakon this summer. xD Wolf may slip in and out of character but forgive him, Yuuri is so distracting in that mini-skirt… Anyways, enjoy. (and thank you to Blueraingurl for catching my mistakes! Arigatou!)

Disclaimer: insert clever comments about not having any rights to KKM here

Mick: what a lazy way out…..

(Written from Wolf's POV)

Yes, I know I'm so generous to give you all this advice and donate some of my precious time I usually spend keeping that wimp of a fiancé away from Weller-kun to educate you on the ways of New Mazoku. Feel honored.

Now then, walking through the hallways of Blood Pledge Castle, you will eventually pass a number of people. Traveling down hallways usually means you see these people from a distance away, meaning you have plenty of time to decide how to react. These situations can be pretty awkward. So society has come up with several options to choose from, and choosing the correct one only goes to show one's knowledge of culture and tradition. And if recent events with the Maou are ANY indication, knowing traditions are very very important indeed. And seeing how I'm so generous, I'll even use myself as an example.

So, say I'm walking along, minding my own business **_cough_** looking for Yuuri again **_cough_** and I cross paths with oh, say one of Gwen's soldiers. Clearly, I out-rank them and have no real interest in starting a conversation. A simple nod of my head will more than suffice. Both parties are polite, acknowledged and done. Besides, why lower myself? Anyways, stopping to talk would only hinder my search for Yu-I mean my pleasant walk over the grounds…..

The next step up from that is the simple greeting. If I were to pass by Huber, the conversation that would ensue, if at all would sound like the following:

"Hello, how are you?"

"Fine, you?"

"Fine thanks."

See, I really don't care how Huber is, in fact I really don't like him at all, but my pride tells me to be civil and personable. But it's also short and sweet, allowing me to move on with my day without any real contact. Then again, I always did wonder what would happen if I broke the unspoken rules about this one, you know, the other party not needing to hear your issues. Hmmm, I do wonder….

"Hello, how are you today?"

" URGHH! Actually horrible. Know why!"

"……n-no…"

"Yuuri's run off again, I can't find him. That cheater! He's probably having lessons with Gunter or playing that…_baseball_ again with Weller-kun! Oh, and I'm dying of TUBERCULOSIS!"

"…………"

No, I don't want to go into stuff like that with people and neither do you.

The third option is one I reserve for people I simply detest, or humans in general. I call this one "the blatant ignore." Clearly, you've seen each other walking down the same hallway now for some time. We both know the other person is there. But, if it's someone like Stoffel, who used my mother for power and kidnapped **MY** fiancé, I want nothing to do with him. But, I just dare him to try ignore me. Just because I hate his slimy guts and wish for nothing but his violent destruction, does not give him the right to try and pretend he didn't notice me.

People like that, who do they think they are anyways? As far as I'm concerned, that's an insult to my honor as a mazoku. I always want to just filet those ungratefuls into a crisp, but of course I don't. That would be a dishonor and really, if they went and died on me then it might make Yuuri upset. N-not that I choose my actions according to what makes that wimp of a maou happy or anything!

The fourth way is something very few people in the world can pull off (And I'd never admit that I'm not one of the elite few mind you). I call this spastic approach the "Gunter." What, you ask, is the "Gunter"? Well, it's when someone comes running up and down the halls like a frantic maniac screaming and wailing for the Maou, in all his Earthly-bound absence. Yes, very few purple-haired, nose-bleeding, Heika-screaming men can pull this off. Although, a close variation of this is the "Anissina". That's when the person comes barreling down the hall like a mad person and only pauses to interrogate you for information on the whereabouts of your poor, fugitive brother. It really can only work though if their eyes reflect the blood thirsty ambition they possess. Just thinking about it gives me the shivers. Really, I pity Gwen but if Anissina needs a subject, better him than me.

In these situations, I like to step out of the way to accommodate the psychopaths. Besides, listening to Gunter yell "Bad Omen" at the top of his lungs all day long doesn't leave me with much to talk to him about.

But, but then there's wimpy amateurs like Yuuri, who don't know the first thing about anything. Really, how can he be the Maou of a world he has no knowledge of? He-he just is in a class of his own. He can strut down any hallway without any regard to these rules. He talks to anyone, and everyone. He's too nice. If he sees me walking along **_cough_** following him? No _**cough**_ he'll always have something to ramble on about. Doesn't he remember I've never been to his world? Sometimes he makes no sense to me, but that's one of the reasons why I love him so much. His goofy, wimpy smile makes me so happy. So much so, that I tend to forget a lot of New Mazoku's rules for the rest of the day myself. One time I even slipped and called Weller-kun by his first name. But, you won't tell Yuuri that I said that…will you?


End file.
